I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
