He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
