Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
