You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
