Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I stole a fireplace last night.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize