Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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