After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You were trust falling into bushes
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
