i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
