when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
