OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
