Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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