you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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