Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
