Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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