I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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