I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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