Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
birth control should be required to get into college
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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