fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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