Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
