Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
did you just send me my own nude
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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