One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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