If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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