You smell like stripper and shame
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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