belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
