Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
