Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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