I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
