I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
