It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
