So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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