It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
