It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
