Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Is Oprah even human
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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