you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize