Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
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i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
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But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
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