I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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