I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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