Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
