fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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