it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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