sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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