I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize