ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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