Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
