just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
