I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
