Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
