Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
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