don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
