i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize