You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
