i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
