I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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