420 ftw
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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