STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
