I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
