yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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