I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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