Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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